How to Get People to Say “Yes!”
I was reading an article on TIME.com, something about how people these days are choosing not to have children.
I was pretty engaged in the article, when a pop-up window appeared. It said, “Could you help us improve our site?” (or something to that effect) Then two buttons with a “yes” and a “no.”
I was a little annoyed because I was in the middle of reading the fascinating article and this pop-up interrupted me, but I could not ignore the pop-up like I do other pop-ups.
The psychology went like this: If I were to click “no,” I would feel like I was a bad person who was denying my help. “No, I would not like to help you improve your site,” I would be saying.
What a jerk, right? The nice people at TIME.com were asking me to help them. I was, after all, reading their content for free. It’s not like they’re asking me to give them money. They’re just asking for my input on their web.
If I click “no,” then I would look like a jerk in my own eyes.
So even though I didn’t want to stop reading my article, I clicked “yes.”
Why? Because clicking “no” would be the same thing as me saying, “yes, I’m a jerk. I don’t want to help. Just give me the damn article to read.” I just couldn’t be a jerk.
Most people don’t think of themselves in a negative way. Everyone, in the context of their world, is right.
That neighbor of yours that always lets his Poochie go right on your driveway, well, in his eyes, he has every right to do just that.
“I’m a busy person. I can’t control everything my dog does,” he would say. “It’s not like I purposely let my poochie do it. I pick up most times, it’s only once in a while… rarely, even… ” But to you, stepping on one of those things on your way to work can really ruin your day.
But the important fact to notice here is, no one thinks they are a jerk. Not even your inconsiderate neighbor, who incidentally doesn’t think he is being inconsiderate at all. They all think they are doing their best to be good, given the context of their world.
So no one will knowingly do something that testifies that they are being a jerk.
That’s why they have cashiers at the grocery store ask, “would you like to donate a dollar to the starving children in Africa?” just when your wallet is wide open. If you say no, you’re the jerk who wouldn’t spend a dollar to cure poverty, when you’re spending ten dollars on a tub of ice cream that’s going to make you fat anyway.
(Now, of course, I’ve encountered a cashier with an attitude who said, “Really? You don’t want to spend a dollar, just a dollar for the starving children?? Just one little dollar??” as she was eyeing my tub of ice cream in a judgmental way. In that case, I felt it was imperative of me to stop the cashier’s bullying and be adamant in my resolve. “No, I won’t donate!”)
If you ask nicely, most people would not be able to deny you. Just because they don’t want to be a jerk in their own eyes.
So instead of “Take our Survey,” you might want to ask, “Could you help us understand you better? It’ll only take 30 seconds.”
Instead of “Get on our Email List,” you might want to ask, “Would you like to hear from us time to time? We promise we won’t annoy you.”
And instead of, “Share this on Facebook,” you might want to say, “Could you help us spread the word? One click will do.”
Like me, people would most likely hesitate before they click, “no.”